Anyone who read a comic between 1960 and 1990 has probably seen the ad above. It was ubiquitous and inescapable, and so became iconic as it imprinted on the brains of millions of impressionable youngsters. I never knew anyone who took the course, and I never took it myself. Who knew if it would even work or not? Not me. Until now, that is.
I've been meaning to do something about my fitness for a while, but I am - as you may have noticed - a bit lazy. I also don't have money to join a gym, or hire a personal trainer. What I do have is an unhealthy fascination with comic books and the ephemera surrounding them. What better way for a comic nerd with no money to get fit, than to follow the advice of a man who died over forty years ago?
So this is the deal: for the next twelve weeks I'm going to be blogging about the Charles Atlas course. I've been working on pretty much everything but my novel, so it's not like my mind is on writing these days anyway. I intend to complete the entire course, following all of the instruction (except for a few that I flatly refuse to acknowledge), and write about my progress as I go.
Before I begin, this is what the Atlas method has to work with:
As you can see, neither exercise nor photography are things I've had much practice with. I like to think that I'm giving the Charles Atlas method a blank canvas to work with.
The Atlas Method (which I have as a handy PDF) is split into eleven lessons, with a few appendices at the back. The appendices are hilariously macho, with instructions on boxing, wrestling, and jiu jitsu, but I won't be tackling those. I ain't here to hurt nobody. Atlas' writing style is also quite startling. He's fond of highlighting key phrases with ALL CAPS. He'd be a real nuisance on message boards. Mostly he bangs on about HEALTH and STRENGTH and POWER OF WILL, and the idea that ALL EVIL HABITS MAY BE DESTROYED BY THE PERSON WHO REALLY DESIRES TO CONQUER THEM! He'd make a great super-villain.
The first thing that Atlas talks about is oxygen, and the importance of good, clean air. It boils down to this: leave your windows open, and breathe deeply. I'm a shallow breather by nature, so this one is going to be tricky to remember. And as much as Charles would like me to leave my windows open at night, I have family members to consider. That ain't gonna fly. I'll just have to get my fresh air during the day.
Good posture is next on the agenda. It's like Charles Atlas is talking right at me, because years of reading, writing and computering have left me with a curved spine, and I'm not about to give any of those things up. I have a habit of slouching when I sit on the couch, but I'll try my best to remember to sit up straight, at least for the next twelve weeks.
And now, on to Lesson 1 proper. This lesson is about exercising the chest and shoulders, which is why I provided the photos above. There are seven exercises, to be done in the morning and at night. I'm currently doing 15 repetitions of each, and I plan to increase that as I go.
1) Push-ups. You know this is an old-timey course, because Atlas has to describe how to do his 'special dipping exercise' instead of just saying 'do some push-ups'. He advocates doing them with feet on the floor and each hand on a different chair. When I'm alone I'll do them with the chairs, but otherwise I'll be doing them on the floor. I'm too shy to do these exercises where my family can see me.
2) This one I'm not certain about: I'm supposed to throw my hands up to the ceiling while inhaling, then cross them over and bring them down while exhaling. It's a breathing exercise, but I'm not entirely sure I'm doing it right. The diagrams aren't always the clearest.
3) Pulling an invisible rope while tensing my chest muscles.
4) Locking my middle fingers together and bringing my arms over my head.
5) Pressing my fist into my other hand at about hip level, and pushing with both arms.
6) Another one I'm not sure about, where I have to "bear down the shoulders and arms" while contracting my chest muscles. I'm doing it, but I ain't sure I'm doing it right.
7) Pushing myself up with my hands while sitting in a chair.
So, that's my regimen for the next fortnight, and indeed for the entirety of the course. While the other lessons will come and go, this one has to be done over the full twelve weeks. I'm not complaining, it's actually not too strenuous so far. I did my first round of exercises this morning, and I'm about to do my second before I go to bed. I don't feel any different yet, but it's early days. Time will tell if I become THE HERO OF THE BEACH, THE WORLD'S MOST PERFECTLY DEVELOPED MAN, THE MASTER OF DYNAMIC TENSION or if I just tone up a little bit, maybe.
WHAT MY OTHER BLOGS SAID THIS WEEK:
http://mahney.blogspot.com.au/2015/03/ad-monster-manual-part-54.html - My dissection of the AD&D Monster Manual continues. I'm up to letter T! After years of toil, I'm nearly done!
http://youradventureendshere.blogspot.com.au/2015/03/exploring-titan-2-citadel-of-chaos.html - In other ultra-nerdy doings, I've got an in-depth examination of The Citadel of Chaos, the second Fighting Fantasy gamebook. Enter at your own risk, there's some hardcore nerd shit going on in there.
http://crpgadventures.blogspot.com.au/2015/03/orthanc-maps-maps-lovely-maps.html - I'm still playing Orthanc, one of the very first computer RPGs. If you like making dungeon maps on graph paper, this one's for you.
OTHER TIME-WASTING ACTIVITIES:
What I'm Reading:
The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle
The Complete Robot by Isaac Asimov
Amazing X-Men by Jason Aaron and Ed McGuinness
What I'm Watching:
The Walking Dead season 5
WWE Raw
What I'm Playing:
Orthanc
Crossy Road
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